I have often been asked how I handle tough situations or have overcome traumatic experiences. The answer is, there is no answer.
Every single person is facing some kind of struggle and they deal with difficult situations in different ways. It’s suffice to say that my struggle is no more significant than yours, as I have no idea what you may be going through or what your threshold for pain is. But the common ground is the face of the struggle. We all go through it and it’s about time we all recognise, appreciate and accept the commonalities in the battles we endure.
I am sharing with you some of my mental notes/ thoughts/ morals/ rules/ lessons that have kept me going, in the hopes that it may inspire you in some way. I have listed 30 things that I try my utmost to live by. And side note, I am in no way insinuating that this number has any significance in my life. (Insert hiding face monkey).
So in no particular order…
Some people are guests in life. They will enter, sometimes with no warning and will leave when it is their time to leave. Let them go, following them is futile.
Kindness is free. Do not expect to get it back either. But give it out like it’s going out of fashion. You will lose nothing and gain everything. Even a smile is rewarding.
Give but do not expect anything back. I can’t describe the rewards behind giving charity or selflessly helping others but believe me, it is worth it.
Expectations are the starting point to major disappointment. It’s like rolling out of a car wash and getting bird pooped on. Expect less and you will always be better off in any situation.
We are all travellers trying to get to the same destination. Some are slower than others and that’s ok. This is not a race. We are not competing either. Dampening another person’s progress will not further yours.
Money is the root of all evil. I never quite believed this until I saw the damage it could do to the people who are obsessed with it. It is a great thing to have and to appreciate but falling in love with money is one of the biggest dangers in this world.
Be yourself. That raw, unapologetic you. Set your standards, dress the way you want, eat what you want, have your own values and opinions, get back to doing the things you love. It’s a work in progress but I’m getting to know myself again and it’s great.
You are one whole person. Do not seek validation from other people. They know nothing of what is within you and what you are capable of.
Move on and keep moving. As humans, we tend to wallow in misery if an active effort is not made to refute it. It’s easy to fall into monotonous routine and distress but staying this way is damaging and a way for us to keep reliving the past. Low points will return, but look forward imperfectly and you will never look back.
Do not compare. Everyone has different paths to follow. Every single person is going through some kind of struggle, seen or unseen. Comparing will only bring misery.
Question everything. Educate yourself and learn the truth about religion, people, lives, history, politics. Do not accept what you have been taught. The mind is a beautiful part of you so nurture it.
Make positive intentions and adhere to them. You will push yourself when you have something to work towards.
Take responsibility for your actions and where you are in life. No blame game or pity party will get you anywhere.
Change is certain so in order to deal with circumstances, accept that there are some things within your control and some that aren’t. Learn to let go of the things that cannot be controlled.
The one who broke you cannot heal you. Not a single person will have the answers you need but yourself. Do not even search for apologies. They do not change a thing.
Always forgive. Understand that the only reason they are hurting you is because they are hurting themselves. It does not mean what they did was acceptable or worth forgiving but do it anyway. It is not a burden for you to carry, it is theirs. Realising their behaviour will allow you to preserve your dignity and not stoop to their level.
Remove toxic people from your life. They do not deserve to take up any of your space. They are like vampires sucking every last bit of your good energy. Kick them to the kerb and leave them there.
The people who find joy in your downfall will have the same thing knocking on their door. Believe me, in time karma will work its magic.
Do not accept another person’s version of who you are meant to be. They know nothing of your journey so do not allow them to mould you or take advantage. What you give power to has power over you.
The most important person in your life is your mother. She will love you unconditionally and take all your shit. Hug her plenty.
Love yourself. Appreciate how resilient you are. Be amazed at how much you have been through and you are still standing. Pat on the back mate.
Unique people are a dying breed. Nowadays most people just want to imitate and refine themselves into some version of ‘perfect’. Embrace your differences and wear them like a badge.
You can never satisfy every single person. Especially an ungrateful one who does not know what they want. They potentially have the power to destroy you. Please people and you will only displease yourself.
Trust the timing of your life. You may not have everything figured out right now and that’s ok.
Keep a good circle. Good, honest people will bring about great energy in your life. Laugh with them.
Invest in your body, heart and mind. Exercise, eat healthy, talk about how you’re feeling and stay positive. Everything in moderation. Anything in excess is toxic.
Be grateful always. Keep a journal of all the blessings in your life, even if it is great eyebrows. Remind yourself how fortunate you are.
Find new meaning to your life. Refocus your energy to what matters the most. It is ok to not know what makes your brain tick but keep working on it.
Run away. Step out of your comfort zone. Find a place of peace, preferably a place away from city life and minimal contact. Do this every so often and you will always have a good vibe.
Pray every single day. The Almighty has all the love and all the time for you. Keep a constant dialogue with Him and ask for what you yearn. You will always receive 3 answers- Yes, not now, I have something better. Entrust everything to Him.
There you have it. I would love to know your personal life lessons. How do you keep sane in this fast pace world? Drop me a line below 🙂